The Carousel.

2012-01-30T14:53:00.002+08:00

Faith

We are all merely trying to undo the mistakes of Mother Nurture, who has corrupted our thoughts, and personalities. At the back of our minds, we are doubtful of ourselves, and have a distorted view of the world -- that there is nothing and no one worth truly believing in -- though we constantly put up a front and try so hard to remind ourselves that not all is worthless. We are fighting to help each other think better, act better, be better than we are right now, just because we are capable of so much more good.

Everyone is messed up in their own way; everyone just needs to find a good enough reason not to give in to the whispering voices in their heads. And it is usually another person who is as messed up enough to understand you, and who needs you just as much.

2012-01-29T14:38:00.000+08:00

Stranger Ranger

When a sixteen year-old sits with you in the middle of nowhere cos he's as troubled as you, and speaks more sense than your pensive mind, and your anguished heart, you can't help but ease up to the stranger. And neither would know the other's name, but would still hope for the best for them. Life will get better, young one.

2012-01-26T23:43:00.000+08:00

When all I want is for you to see

The side that I don't show to anyone

In fear that they may turn and run

Alone and incomplete

No more tears to cry

No more blood to bleed

I'll fall forever endlessly

When you should be the ground beneath my feet

The better half of me

2012-01-22T00:08:00.003+08:00

Alone Again, Naturally

2012-01-20T23:51:00.000+08:00

Imagine you were on your deathbed;

What would be your greatest fear about death?

Who would you want with you on your bedside?

What would be your greatest regret?

Your answers will actually reflect you as a person now. Your greatest fear about death -- there is time to resolve them. Who you want with you -- who you treasure most now. Your greatest regret -- unresolved mistakes of the present/past which can be dealt with, starting right now. Be bold, and god bless.

2012-01-19T23:19:00.000+08:00

Personality Types:

Type A

They are workaholics - very competitive, ambitious, extremely hardworking, and have high levels of hostility and anger. There is a constant sense of pressure and a strong tendency to try do several things at once, and they get easily upset over small things. Often successful but frequently unsatisfied, they always seem to want to go faster and do more. They hate to waste time and find it difficult to relax and do nothing.

Death by: Coronary heart disease

Type H (Hardy)

Workaholics too, but those who thrive on stress, instead of letting it wear them down. They have a deep sense of commitment to their values, beliefs, sense of identity, work, and family life. They also feel that they are in control of their lives and what happens to them. When things go wrong, they do not see a frightening problem to be avoided but instead a challenge to be met and answered.

Death by: Death

Type B

Relaxed and laid-back, they are not that competitive or driven, tend to be easygoing and slow to anger.

Death by: Matrep/Minahrep-ism (inability to be sustainable)

Type C

Tends to be very pleasant and tries to keep the peace but finds it difficult to express emotions, especially negative ones. They tend to internalize their anger and anxieties, often experiencing a sense of despair over the loss of a loved one or a loss of hope. They are often lonely.

Death by: Cancer

2012-01-18T13:07:00.003+08:00

Pokok gua dah mati,

gua no money!

2012-01-15T10:55:00.001+08:00

Case Study 1

She does her best not to depend on others, as she feels that expectations always lead to disappointments, whenever people are included in the equation. But when she does depend on people, she tries to be patient with them, and tries to keep expectations at a minimum. But when minimum expectations are not met, she feels devastated by an even bigger amount of disappointment.

She does, however, have a tendency to throw her whole being into relationships when she starts depending on people, in other words, despite the high possibility of being disappointed again, and repeatedly, she doesn't seem to stop fighting to keep those people. That is probably due to how she only truly opens up to few, and very few can claim to know her beyond the surface, so she might cling to those people as long as she can.

She is also, thereby, easily depressed, when she opens up to those few people, and feels like her actions or emotions are rejected, whether intentionally or otherwise. She is, thus, always tempted to revert to a life of loneliness, but is unable to as she now feels undeniably tied to those people.

In general, she prefers to be alone, and does not share her reality with others, as she feels that everyone has their own reality to deal with, and that nobody needs an extra one as a burden (she is always quick to feel like a burden, and abhors the feeling). But she does not turn others away, as she feels that everyone has a right to share their stories, if they choose to - she simply does not choose to. However, she tends to stay distant when it comes to others, and does not see the need to sympathise with their stories, if she is unable or unwilling to help them, so she might be construed as a selfish person. In essence, she is most secure and at peace when she is alone.

2012-01-14T23:59:00.000+08:00

Spend all your time waiting for that second chance,
For a break that would make it okay.

There's always some reason to feel not good enough,
And it's hard, at the end of the day.

I need some distraction,
Oh, beautiful release,
Memories seep from my veins.

Let me be empty,
Oh, and weightless,
And maybe I'll find some peace tonight.

So tired of the straight line,
And everywhere you turn,
There's vultures and thieves at your back.

The storm keeps on twisting.
Keep on building the lies
That you make up for all that you lack.

It don't make no difference,
Escape one last time.

It's easier to believe in this sweet madness,
Oh, this glorious sadness,
That brings me to my knees.

2012-01-12T22:06:00.001+08:00

The Flat Affect

2012-01-09T14:34:00.004+08:00

"Ohhh, Huda is a dark girl.

She's got a lot of secrets, this one."

But there's always someone who'll get to read you like an open book. Always.

2012-01-08T13:51:00.002+08:00

Losing afriend would always be harder than losing a lover. Because, with lovers, thereis still the lingering uncertainty of how long the relationship would last. Or,at least, you’re always afraid that you might lose the lover, and a part of youmight be silently preparing for the separation as best you can.

But withfriends, you assume they’d be there forever. If they’re real enough, when youfight, you’d fight like family, and things would work themselves outeventually. Friends are unfortunately taken for granted, but they’d always bethere for you – all the characteristics of family.

Loversmight be friends too, but certainly they’re considered to have a more temporalplace in your life than friends.

When you losea lover, you will feel like someone has just violently raped you of your soul.But when you lose your friend, it would feel like you’ve lost your family, yoursilent supporters, your very own spirit.

You wouldeventually totally cut off ties with a lover, but it is unfortunately not assimple with your friends. Maybe because you can demonise your lovers easierthan you can your friends? Who knows. But you’d probably remember your friendslonger, and hold on to them tighter, at least the memories you have of them.Their ghosts would haunt you longer.

But youwould eventually learn to let go, be they your friend, or your lover. And inthis day and age, it would probably be when you stop cyber stalking them -cyber stalking your ex-lovers to see if they’re seeing someone new;cyber-stalking your friends to see what they’ve been up to. Mostly, once youstop cyber stalking them to see whether they’ve moved on. Because now, its yourturn to move on. It won’t be easy, but you will eventually do it, you willeventually let go of them.

2012-01-07T13:47:00.000+08:00

50/50

Heartwrenching. Absolutely, heartwrenching.

2012-01-06T03:30:00.000+08:00

Yes, 2012 will be peaceful and psycho-free.

2012-01-04T22:21:00.004+08:00

I know what I want out of my 2012:

PEACE

2012-01-03T23:50:00.001+08:00

When you hold something so precious in your hands, you cant help but feel a veil of peace descending upon you. All the ugly things in the world just melt away, and all that matters is this beautiful thing in your arms, this wonder of creation. We live in a beautiful world; yeah we do, yeah we do.

2012-01-02T23:45:00.000+08:00

Another day, another year. Start was perfect. Year of the US trip, and graduation. Onward.

2012-01-01T20:24:00.000+08:00

-ves

THE BLUES
DOG DAYS
$18,000
DRIFTERS
POLICE REPORT
THE CLUB
FOOLISH YOUTH

+ves

PERFECT NYE
TWO YEARS
EVIE McBUKU
FRIENDSSS
MEET THE PARENTS
STAYCATIONS
ALTITUDE
XTREME SWING
GMAX
WE ARE SCIENTISTS
5KM
ROCKY HORROR SHOW
USS

2011-12-30T15:23:00.000+08:00

There's a stain of a mark
On your chest and your face
Where Life used to be
But now is just pale

Now there's nothing but darkness
For all of your days
And all of your nights
Are spent curled up in graves

Can't live, and can't die
No choice but to lie
But they still think you're rubbish
Though you're minding your ways

So just lie down, and stay still
Someone might fill the lone hole
But don't hope for a saviour
You're not worth dirty hands

2011-12-29T15:40:00.000+08:00

Adults: You may be said to be suffering from a major depressive episode if you have a depressed mood for at least two weeks and have at least five of the following clinical symptoms:

Feeling sad or blue
Crying spells
Loss of interest or pleasure in usual activities
Significant increase or decrease in appetite
Significant weight loss or weight gain
Change in sleep pattern: inability to sleep or excessive sleeping
Agitation or irritability
Fatigue or loss of energy
A tendency to isolate from friends and family
Trouble concentrating
Feelings of worthlessness or excessive guilt
Thoughts of death or suicide

Ha, Ha, Ha

2011-12-23T14:15:00.001+08:00

Why Men & Women Can't Be Friends

Exceptions?

2011-12-22T14:30:00.000+08:00

Bad sleep
Good weather
Good shit
Good run
Champion brekkie:
Strawberry banana milkshake,
scrambled eggs & toast
Good nap
Dead work

2011-12-21T14:24:00.000+08:00

Send someone to love me

I need to rest in arms

Keep me safe from harm

In pouring rain

Give me endless summer

Lord I fear the cold

Feel I'm getting old

Before my time

As my soul heals the shame

I will grow through this pain

Lord I'm doing all I can

To be a better man

Go easy on my conscience

'Cause it's not my fault

I know I've been taught

To take the blame

Rest assured my angels

Will catch my tears

Walk me out of here

I'm in pain

2011-12-18T20:46:00.002+08:00

Don't ask me how many people I've dated;

Ask me how many I've been in love with.

2011-12-17T17:16:00.000+08:00

Twelve to thirteen hour shifts almost everyday is no joke. And the bags and circles under my eyes are testament to that. The lethargy, the sliding off chairs, the shutting off of the body and the mind at various hours of the day. And this old man cant seem to sleep beyond 10am no matter the time he turns in; 11am if he's lucky. Need to get energy levels up again.

I NEED A RUNRUN

2011-12-11T11:06:00.000+08:00

"Even though someone

doesn't love you the way you want them to,

doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have."

2011-12-10T14:14:00.000+08:00

novembre: Lady Sings The Blues

November was exceptionally depressing, but I dont remember why. I remember all the pain and all the bleakness, but cant pin a finger cos the memory doesnt linger. Must have been all the loneliness, all the dog days and the lonely-loneliness. I did get a new baby, and she's mighty fine. But the bank's been breakin due to heavy investments and now I'm back to square one.

December is here, and I'm not jumping for joy. This wintry year will culminate in an end with a vengeful bang, as my first week has foreshadowed much bleakdom. More dog days, and incidents that do not help circumstances, thats what December has all been about so far.

But there are always moments that try hard at tinting the world a blushy shade of rose, like my perfect start to December, and my assuredly perfect end to the month and the year. And free Starbucks coffee. Everyone loves free Starbucks coffee.

December would be a whole load of labour, but when is life not laced with hard days' nights? We would all be rewarded sooner or later. And I am counting on my new years. A spoonful of sugar will make the medicine go down, eventually. Dont get too high though. Merry Christmas.

2011-12-09T14:38:00.000+08:00

Why is it that assholes treat you like shit and then play the victim? Go to church and go to god and go rally their friends and keep an entire baggage labelled under "the bitch". But tis cant be denied, assholes will always be assholes, and you'll keep baggages under "asshole" too. Set them aside and let the dust and cobwebs settle. Whats done is done.

And then there were two.

2011-12-07T03:33:00.000+08:00

For fucks sake,

I dont need this shit now

2011-12-06T01:37:00.000+08:00

Overload

It is not God that disappoints us; it is people. People would destroy your faith in so many things that sometimes you forget to hold on to the few that are worth keeping in life.

So keep Faith; keep peaceful.

2011-12-05T03:33:00.000+08:00

This country destroys every beautiful thing into something sterile and methodical. Couples now say, "we're getting a BTO!" to announce their marriage plans, instead of the more pleasant, "we're getting engaged!", accompanied by the envy-inducing flourish of a flashy ring in the air. I will have none of that if I'm gonna be stuck in this damn country. I would not get a BTO unless I had no other choice. I'd get a sweet, sentimental, surprising proposal, and for kicks, would rather say just one word to announce the marriage:

"Shotgun!"

2011-12-04T11:54:00.000+08:00

Just, perfect

2011-12-03T18:53:00.000+08:00

JERK

2011-11-29T15:29:00.001+08:00

All the things that they are, will remind you of all the things you dont want to be. All the hurt, neglect, unintentional or not, will teach you to rise above them, and remember that you shouldnt waste your time hoping for others to help you; you want something done, you find your own way.

You are bitter sometimes, and seemingly selfish, but thats just because you dont bother pleasing others, and you have no interest in sympathy if its merely patronising. You are a hard ass realist, or at least you can be. And you will work towards the day when you can simply up and leave, dignity in hand, with no pity for anyone, no need to deal with those who deserve nothing from you.

Respect is earned, not a given, no matter your position or place or age. You will be respectful as needed, but if that privilege is violated, then earning it once more will not make it the same ever again.

You are grateful for the good, but at 22, this is what life teaches you: you are alone with the mess at the end of the day. And you will sure as hell do your best to make sure your future children will never have to feel that way when theyre 22. Thats why you work harder now.

Who wants to be forever 21 again?

Fools.

2011-11-28T00:32:00.000+08:00

Eve

Two shots of happy,

one shot of sad

2011-11-24T15:25:00.003+08:00

(Rare) Good Days:

Sleep in
Sofa
Telly
No baths
Naps
Snacks
Lappie
Bed
Sleep late

2011-11-21T03:33:00.000+08:00

"I've got a flat."

Such a simple line, yet something so disarming, so disorienting, so goddamn frightening. Possible thoughts running through the person hearing it would be: "wtf" "you're too young" "wtf" "what have you done" "you're not ready" "I'm not ready" "what am I doing with my life?" "wtf"

Simple pleasures of successful pranks. Good times, good times.

2011-11-20T13:36:00.001+08:00

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat
But always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small
When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances
But they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake
But it's worth making
Don't let some hell bent heart
Leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out
Reconsider
Give the heavens above
More than just a passing glance

2011-11-19T03:33:00.001+08:00

How bad must the circumstances be till people start to think that they have accept neglect as a part of their lives? And start to figure that maybe they deserve it all, that theyre supposed to experience all the abject emptiness and loneliness. Is it that theyve given up on people, or something much worse, on themselves? Given up the idea that they deserve to be cared for, especially when the ditch is such a deep, dark hell. How bad can things be?

Everyone needs someone who doesnt run away when you share your innermost thoughts, fears & feelings; someone who will cradle you & all your broken parts & believe it to be worth salvaging.

2011-11-15T12:19:00.004+08:00

The smile on your face
Lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes
Saying you'll never leave me

2011-11-07T12:32:00.004+08:00

"I don't care
cos nobody cares about me."

But I still have to give a damn about everyone else right?

2011-11-02T03:33:00.003+08:00

Walk all the miles
To clear the mind
But come to find
It's been long gone

(I hope I dont lose myself again.)

"Nevermore"

2011-11-01T03:33:00.001+08:00

octobre: Alone Again, Naturally

It's amazing how I've managed to get out alive from October. Worked like a dog, and consistently kept up the work on my philo mod, in my opinion at least. Two full-time gigs, imagine that. Thankfully, November will only be about one.

Birthday month was pretty good really: Tiffany's, Carousel, Sushi Tei, Awfully Chocolate, Thai Express, Chewy Jr; Birks, GMax, Xtreme Swing, Sticky, Valrhona, a wallet, an outfit. Got good lovin', good cake, good gracious, all is well.

All my threesomes, and laughing till it hurt with the Couplings, Classmates, and Bitches X2. Good times, good times. Even summed up some balls, and had a homey dinner. Tried to get away from Halloween, but Halloween came to me, and it ended up being yet another epic night.

Weather so gloomy everyday, so apt. So many people all around me, but I still feel alone. And the one place that should give me some comfort is not, but I cant really get out of here, so what is a girl to do? Suck it up, and work harder, and hopefully youll save yourself out of this new hell. Oh well.

2011-10-22T03:33:00.000+08:00

It's so odd that we both feel so alone.

Sometimes I still need you

2011-10-17T13:57:00.000+08:00

The walls were up once, and they can go up again - some of the foundation remain. Everytime your heart bleeds, youre reminded of the reason why they were there in the first place. Then, the layers would return, one after the other. If no one breaks them down, or tries to at least, the walls would stand once more.

2011-10-13T14:27:00.000+08:00

septembre: Eid

Obscenely overdue; half of October has passed and I'm only just summing up September. A month of Eid. Wouldve been complete if Bitches had a raya, but oh well, time was not on our side. Though we did have a bitchin birthday session.

Time is fleeting, and before you know it, you have none left on your side. You are running, and running to do everything, and when you get to catch your breath, you just want a moment of calm, alone, and so you realise you end up running from people. When does it end? There is no place to hide, no place to have peace for yourself. All you can do is keep a sound mind, and may all else fall into place.

About thirty days in a month, and I wouldnt have it any other way. Any more than 31 and I dont know what state Id be in. But honestly, quite glad for all the busy-ness. Ive only one gripe about having such little time, but well get through it I'm sure. It is just the period in our lives, more specifically, in mine. I'm going through what you have been and still are; were both going through the motions of a similar period.

October is madness with two seemingly full-time gigs. No worries, just half a month left. All we need to do is remember to breathe. So, breathe.

2011-10-12T11:21:00.000+08:00

7AM

Good run,

Good shit,

Good puke,

Good day.

2011-10-10T15:33:00.000+08:00

9.10.11

Sat:
Lunch
Shopping
Gmax + Extreme Swing
Dinner

Sun:
Breakfast at Tiffany's
Chinatown
Dinner

Good Weekend

2011-10-07T17:29:00.000+08:00

Your promise:

2011-10-06T15:33:00.000+08:00

Dog Days

5 days straight. Break.
4 days straight. Break.
3 days straight. Break (sch 5 days).
7 days straight (+sch 4 days). Broken.

I can work like a dog but I am just getting so tired of people. I need a good run. 2011, I am so over you.

2011-10-05T15:33:00.000+08:00

I'm learning to let go

Cos you only need one.

2011-09-28T13:20:00.000+08:00

So many things to say, but nothing to.I miss my boyfriend I have new friends I hope I still have my old friends I want to be alone I saw the F1 live from the sky I saw the fireworks live from the sky Ive been sleeping after 3 for four straight nights some people are transitory is everyone transitory except for your family but they die too so is everyone transitory I dont like teaching little children my birthday is in less than two weeks I want pangake you want pangake I miss my boyfriend my friend called me a "mush monster" I am a "mush monster" 2011 is disappearing I'm not sure if I want it back.Yup.

2011-09-23T10:41:00.000+08:00

Sharp

A man in tailored suits, yes. Fly guys, no. Fly guy breaking down barriers becoming real, yes yes yes. Cant deny the radiating heat, the charm, the body. The body! But Mr. Shy Guy you know youre still my favourite (;
"I'm Steve Carell!" "I love Steve Carell!"

"There is one true love for everyone

and if you fought for that one person,

then it would work out."

2011-09-22T14:37:00.000+08:00

Woman with a Parasol by Claude Monet

Summer Air (From Claude to Camille)

Blue sunny sky in wide, bright eyes

A gentle breeze weaves gentler hair

The lush green ground warms dainty feet

Gold blooming buds that can't compare

To you, my love.

You are the summer of my life.

2011-09-21T10:52:00.000+08:00

Good Time Boys

Decent food, good conversation, great laughs, and the most adorable lost boy. Once a month might not seem like much, but its something, at least.

2011-09-16T22:19:00.001+08:00

All in a Day's Work

Young African puppy, your mealtime skillz is illz, but you need to run along now

Winning the easiest $10 in my life. Proven: too many drinks wont improve your swing but it sure will entertain a crowd

Singing Bizarre Love Triangle in front of a crowd of 30 or sth. My balls dropped quite a bit but I didnt die. I sang, damnit, I sang!

"Young Lisa Bonet, I am probably a little drunk right now, but will you go out with me sometime? Wait do you have a boyfriend?" "I do have... several." "Well can I be one more? So how bout lunch? Dinner? Coffee? I'm serious." "I can't, my boyfriend will kill me!" "Which one? Number two? Three? Or four? Cmon just a coffee?"

Golf isnt all its cracked up to be, so boring that Id rather study sometimes, and I do. But sometimes, just sometimes, exciting things do happen, and golf isnt such a chore anymore. Good company, good view, free food, free Wii, free golf. But please, bring back my weekends to me, to me!

2011-09-14T03:33:00.000+08:00

The world destructs,
Blind flash - restructs;
New walls, new grounds,
New hopes, new homes

2011-09-13T03:33:00.000+08:00

Most of my sept & oct weekends are gone cos of schedules, schedules. I have little say so all I do is take schedules, schedules. School, work, social - life is just a fucking schedule. Cant work around school or work scheds, but a social life? An anti-social life sounds evermore enticing as time goes by.

And all I want for my birthday is to be left alone. Peace is not enough, I just want to be all alone, doing nothing. Yay me.

2011-09-08T15:27:00.001+08:00

The busiest first week. Disappearing weekends and three straight days of golf. My game is not improving and I am too lazy to practice my swing. One night of Wii Sports/Sports Resort and my arms are aching. Sat - paper due, progress is minimal, whats new. September, you need to slow, friggin, down.

Nothings been on my mind. Dont read papers much anymore. Dont talk about books. At least I meet people. People wholl sit with me for hours just to serious talk or future talk; just to miss sleep and talk till dawn and feel horrid the next day at work; people who will listen to me talk. But where is my mind? At work and work and work. I have no time to think. Or maybe, I make no time.

Time to find time.

Or maybe, I think in my words with people, when thoughts run, and words flow, and the world is made sense, and I find sense, and I feel so old. We talk about the people in our lives, about religion, about politics, about our futures; we talk about life. Everythings been on my mind.

And I think you can throw a child into adulthood, and force him to act like an adult, but you cannot force him to think like one -- you can only wait for him to grow up.

So where is your mind?

2011-09-01T14:11:00.000+08:00

auguste: Let Peace Prevail

August was generally peaceful; marred only by a few fretful moments. Uneventful in the best of ways. The month even ended in peace. Grateful.

Officially two years old now (:

And September shall be madness:

12 days of golf
Need to slot in 16 tuition sessions
9 morning classes
3 planned outings
3 birthdays

Let us try what love can do

2011-08-31T03:33:00.001+08:00

Eid

No hellish tradition this year, peace reigned on eve of Eid. Grateful. The month is set to be good, gonna be joining new friends for a day, and will be visiting a big fan -- sweet lady haha. Hopeful about Dunman raya, unlike other years, and might even be driven around for Bitches raya. Looking forward to these three days!

First day raya was as first day is; eat, go next house, hihihi, hide in room, sleep, wake up, eat and get good money for a days work. Shall enjoy the free money while it lasts. But I was a little sad looking at poor old grams who was sick. From the room I was in I had a clear view of hers, which she spent most of the latter part of the day in, resting and being more quiet than usual. Not the sort to fuss, sometimes I just stared into the room from afar and grew worried in my quiet. Hopefully shell get better soon, god willing.

On a happier note, results are in, and theyre good so far. Now the hard part -- maintenance. Hmm.

Raya, raya.

2011-08-28T14:36:00.003+08:00

For all you citizens who voted with your angry irrational hearts leftover from the May GE; for a man whose role is mostly as a neutral leader & ambassador, campaigned with so much anger in his words, & has such a poor command of English - I will not understand your choice but it is technically a democracy, so you are free to choose. But let me just say, well done to all 529,732 of you, for you have indirectly contributed to Mr. Tony Tan's win. But hey, whats done is done. Enjoy seeing his portrait everywhere you go while he smiles down & waves at you on national day & enjoys his $4million a year.

Well done,
my fellow countrymen,
well done.

2011-08-25T19:55:00.008+08:00

Today...

Started badly
No sleep
No mood
Middle okay
No sleep still
Got love
Got somebody
Ended well.

2011-08-24T03:33:00.006+08:00

Star Light, Star Bright

The month is coming to an end, and after just under three weeks of peace, it ends with the need for a sudden great burst of energy. A scramble for love, for life, for sanity. Thankfully, I can say that all seems under control. The boat was rocked for a moment but the waves have decided to calm, and all three entities seem intact still. Grateful.

And lately Ive been thinking about my faith, and I have wondered whether I have lost some of the power of belief by all my attempts to rationalise and justify each action taken because of my religion. In a conscious effort to ensure the relevance of Islam - whether to convince others or myself even - my determination to connect each action with a degree of practicality has somewhat watered down my ability to be passionate about Islam, though it has not wavered my faith.

Ive read and seen videos on converts speaking about their new found enlightenment in discovering Islam and I do not think I possess such a passion or such an unadulterated look of belief whenever I speak of my religion. When did I lose it all? Or did I even have it to begin with?

Are we all bound to lose that spark as the modern world grows restless of our faiths and in an attempt to preserve our personal beliefs, we see ourselves adapting - in public, and eventually, in person - into a secular mould that waters down our beliefs? Is it possible for me to be a pragmatic Muslim without losing my ability to appreciate the beauty and nuances of the stories in Islamic teachings, in other words, my ability to be a true believer? Is it possible for anyone to do so with any religion?

It is not easy to successfully marry reason with faith as both seem like inherently opposing ideas, but I'm sure it's not an impossible task.

Take for example our understanding of stars; factually they are made up mostly of hydrogen and helium, in other words, stars are merely big balls of gasses. Their assumed purposes are just as mundane: as energy sources; as a means of navigation; some even say they have no purpose but exist due to how clouds of dust in the galaxies are sometimes pulled together by gravity and heats up. Irregardless, from where we are, stars are no less captivating as it blankets a clear night sky.

So I guess, whatever faith we hold on to in this world, we need to realise that it is not impossible to be pragmatic and factual without losing our ability to appreciate and have pure belief itself. But even if I do falter, I'll at least have the stars in the sky to remind me to contemplate and appreciate life. And how could anyone ever complain about such a wondrous sight anyways? I couldnt. Could you?

2011-08-22T03:33:00.002+08:00

Life Priority List
(In Descending Order)

School
Work
Me
Family
Friends
Boyfriend

2011-08-19T12:41:00.005+08:00

The Freakshow Presents:

Happy two, love <3

2011-08-16T14:06:00.004+08:00

Another favourite...

Who will sing this?
Who will mean this?
Who will do these?

I'm yours

2011-08-15T03:33:00.003+08:00

ac·ces·so·ry
noun
1. a subordinate or supplementary part, object, or the like, used mainly for convenience, attractiveness, safety, etc.

Know your place
Know your purpose
Don't expect more
Don't hope much
Get hurt less

2011-08-14T03:33:00.002+08:00

IKEA
^.^

2011-08-13T03:33:00.000+08:00

It is only a feeling. If it existed from the start, it can fade. If not, it can develop through time. It comes, it goes. It is ideal to choose it over money, as it makes us more human. But it is only a feeling. It can bring us hope, push us to strive for more, but it cannot feed us. It cannot sustain us. If choosing it means choosing a life full of distress, why do it? It is not romantic anymore when both of you are hunched over in pain, unable to meet your basic needs, unable to survive the world. Truthfully, love is only a feeling.

Baby, sometimes love just ain't enough

2011-08-12T23:59:00.002+08:00

Sleep All Day

Just wanted the box :D
-
Ethan is quitting :(

2011-08-11T03:33:00.000+08:00

III

By far, my favourite episode. Epic battles, betrayal, betrayal, betrayal - heart wrenching drama. Finally done with the saga, thats seven movies including Clone Wars. The only form of sci-fi I actually appreciate. Maybe due to the cool powers, battles and pop culture status. Everyone wants to have cool powers, no?

May The Force Be With You

2011-08-10T03:33:00.000+08:00

Almost two weeks done, and I dont remember my monday and tuesday. My powerpacked wednesday of 11 to 11. The perks of Fortune favouring you - grateful. Finally USS-ed and its not fantastic by any means, just something you have to experience just because. Need to lose my tan, time to cloak-up till sundown.

First break fast out, twas good to catch up. Maybe I am a little obsessed with preserving a separation of life. But I guess, I am slowly coming to terms with melding the different parts of my life together. Not into a permanent thing though. Maybe in three to four years time, can the melding be something permanent. For now, everything is still temporary. Maybe I am just protective of my territories.

And a broken heart is lonely and cold. But as it heals, or scabs over at least, it is bound to hurt once in a while. At least, it is doing its best to remember what its like to be its former, tougher, self. She cant be all gone, can she?

"People of the Book"

2011-08-07T15:48:00.003+08:00

She don't know what it means
to walk in these shoes,
that should be brand new
but have holes in the soles.

She don't know what it means
& she says "walk on through"
cos only old soles
need to tatter & ruin.

She don't know that young shoes will run till they wear;
She don't know that young shoes will run till they tear;
She don't know that young shoes walk the miles of old shoes'.

She don't know,
She don't care,
She don't walk in young shoes.

She'll respond every time,
with a "Life's good to you."

-

What does understanding cost nowadays? Not asking for sympathy - sympathy is nothing without action, simply patronising, in other words, insulting. But understanding? It costs nothing. So why is it so hard to get?

2011-08-04T23:59:00.000+08:00

Easily, my favourite month, bar none. Even my birthday, none. This month. The peace, the closeness, everything. And everyone becomes a better person. What else is there to ask for? I dont quite like the month after though. All the fuss. Yuck. Enjoy this while this lasts. Goodnight and god bless.

2011-08-03T13:03:00.000+08:00

Progress of assignment due in four days time:

Title: Sudan, A Conflicted Nation

End.

Siao
Siao
Liao

2011-08-02T00:45:00.000+08:00

This week: Madness predicted.
This month: Let peace prevail.

2011-08-01T23:54:00.000+08:00

juillet: 17,000 Words

2011-07-30T13:33:00.014+08:00

Time bides we be deaf
Due white noise drowning, dumbing
Lights bright, dim, dim darker
Noise grows ever louder

In hushed corners,
Where noise falters,
And the world's voice consumes you
Thoughts, words, pain, hurt and... Nothing
All of it shall just gush through

Till one day you hear nothing
But the world
- took you over

-

Who's gonna save me?

2011-07-29T23:24:00.004+08:00

Five surprising reasons
men are happy in a relationship
- By Bonnie Yuill

Don’t be fooled by the male ego. Men look for more in a relationship than an attractive women who will cook him a good meal and wash his clothes every once in a while. What he really needs is your admiration.

He needs to communicate with you
A lot of men need to be in a relationship more than women do. Surprising? Not really, when you think about it. Women usually have close relationships with their friends. They talk about health problems until they feel better. But men don’t. As Helen Fielding’s character, Bridget Jones, says, ‘Women have emotions and men have football.’ Men are competitive and so, in general, they rarely share their emotions or problems with each other, as they think it makes them look too weak. When he needs to open up and talk about his feelings, guess who he eventually shows his vulnerable side to? You!

He wants to be your hero
Knowing that he can make someone else happy makes him feel good inside, because he has the power to change things. And what bloke doesn’t secretly want power of some sort? At least if he can’t always be top dog at work, he can be a star at home. Instinctively, he aspires to be Spider-Man or Superman – to be your hero, to be able to make things right: to be appreciated, to be someone’s knight in shining armour. So when you are disappointed or unhappy, he feels responsible. What matters is that you are happy and then he’s got one less thing to worry about. Strange but true.

He strives to make you happy
The number one reason men leave relationships is because they feel as though they can’t meet their partner’s needs. This makes them feel inadequate, and it makes them feel as though there’s no way their partner can feel respect for them. For women, communication seems to be the top priority in keeping the relationship going – but, quite honestly, men don’t understand this constant need to talk about things over and over.

For men, the relationship is a success if they feel respected and if they make their partner happy. This is why a new conquest is exactly that – he feels as though he is in charge – he is once again someone’s knight in shining armour.

If you resent him because you feel overworked and under-appreciated, stop doing so much – you are probably destroying your relationship! He doesn’t want to feel responsible for you rushing around, worn into the carpet, and most men really don’t notice whether the housework has been done or not. What they want is respect and appreciation. ‘All we really want from women,’ a (male) friend recently told me, ‘is for you to smile at us.’ (And probably one other thing, if he thought about it for longer than a millisecond.)

Sex makes him feel loved
Sex has the same effect on men as romance does on women. So the reverse is also true: no sex = no love, no approval, no acknowledgement. They get that same sad, unloved feeling that you get when you don’t get flowers, your partner looks at other women or ignores you.

You are his (secret) reason for living
He needs you because you inspire him to do better – he has someone to do things for, goals to reach, a reason to go out and conquer the world. What’s the point of being disgustingly rich and powerful if there’s no one to share it with? What he needs is the gift of you.

2011-07-27T22:23:00.003+08:00

This is the story of a girl
Who cried a river
& drowned the whole world
While she looks so sad in photographs
I absolutely love her
When she smiles

Wednesdays, gah.

2011-07-26T23:59:00.008+08:00

I Are Happy

The night was all about drums. We Are Scientists thank you for Nobody Move Nobody Get Hurt, Inaction, Can't Lose, It's A Hit, The Great Escape! Went krrrazy when they played their older tracks! I dont think they played This Scene is Dead but still, you guys. Plus new songs After Hours, Nice Guys, Rules Don't Stop, Jack & Ginger! And some others I wasnt quite familiar with. How does a drummer keep up such a load of energy for a 40min-ish set? You are so awesome Mr. Andy Burrows.

Concert was atop the hill, entrance stated as Fort Gate. A much smaller place than the usual venue. So we were pretty close to the stage even though we reached around 8, the time the concert was supposed to start. Crowd so lame, mostly surrounded by little kids waiting for Neon Trees not budging for WAS with nucleated small clusters of WAS fans.

Normal SG concert culture: if they dont know the musician, no matter how awesome the music, they will not move an inch. Stale-mates. But whadevah, I went for WAS, so no lame crowd is gonna be a killjoy. I gonna dance dance sing my lungs out word for word no matter.

"Play your older stuff cmon! Great escape great escape!" which directly or indirectly led to WAS bassist saying "if you've got any comments, feedback, complaints, do tell us!" Whoopsies. And just kept screaming "come back dont leave!" But when Neon Trees came out: "Lets go home!" "We Are Scientists come back!" Hahaha aww poor sods.

I think I probably started listening to WAS in secondary school. Thats why With Love And Squalor and parts of Safety, Fun, Learning have a chunk of a place in my heart. The newer albums, not so much, so I guess I'm not a fan through and through cos I dont really keep up with their stuff especially since the disaster Brain Thrust Mastery. My love for Muse is unparalleled of cos. But Ill always have a place for WAS. Especially with such a crazy-ass high octane drummer (who I just found out on wiki is a new guy who used to be Razorlight's drummer - Razorlight is another manufacturer of awesome but lets not go there).

A little break before Neon Trees, and the night's entertainment wasnt all that bad. The unplanned side entertainment is usually what makes a concert so much more amusing. White chicks dancing and dorking out to weird breaktime songs - they funny, they know how to party. Then when Neon Trees came out, the silly dead crowd suddenly awakened. Sheesh!

We agreed to give the Trees a chance even though we knew nuts about them sides their absolute mainstreamness and how lead singer seemed pretty poseurific. Anyway, their little miss drummer girl Elaine Bradley (googled it!) was worth staying a little longer for. There is always something about a drummer girl that makes me go ooh-ooh-wo-o'oh.

Played a fool and danced cheered screamed ironically in response to Trees and the fans. The fans were jumping to the songs as though they were hardcore songs; twas an interesting sight indeed. I saw some headbanging and some \m/ handsigns in the air. But well, I guess since lead singer did do some weird ass screamo shit at the end of one song, it could confuse fans into understanding the degree of their hardcoreness. But hey, as long as theyre happy right? What doesnt kill me, makes me laugh harder.

I did like the part where they started a song all jazz-like. Screaming for the sake of it, making lyrics up along the way, running after a boy to grab his ball... when life gives you lemons, init. Plus a tipsy girl and her over-enthu boyfriend were something else. Tipsies are always too funny, way too funny.

Left after their biggest hit Animal, where great big plastic eyeballs started bouncing around. Who doesnt like great big bouncy balls? Time check: 10.30pm. Never left a concert so early honestly haha. Well, they started to bore us a little. Anw twas probably the second last song before the whole encore routine.

Went home smelling like teen spirit and discussing, of all things, Star Wars. Talked about the epicness of their soundtrack. Mostly the scene in Episode I, where Darth Maul fought against Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi. Darth Maul so cool la please. The music, even cooler.

tiew tiew tiewtiewtiew
TIEW TIEW TIEWTIEWTIEW

2011-07-25T03:33:00.000+08:00

Lost Weekend

Every weekend has disappeared from under me. Well, to be exact, Ive disappeared every single July weekend. This last weekend will be a quiet, transitional one, in light of a month of peace. People came home, people are leaving. Unfortunate encounter, pleasant surprising ones. One week left and July is more or less ready for a summary.

One month of no classes. Sudan and politics for the first two weeks, and nothing for the last two. Will someone knowledgeable speak to me about Sudan?

Shall hit Altitude more and sit there for an hour again, watching over the world, watching over you. We Are Scientists tonight; please dont suck, please rise above a predicted lame crowd.

Living on a schedule isnt all that bad. Plus it can be used as an excuse to acquire some balance. I like living for me. So much more peaceful.

2011-07-24T03:33:00.000+08:00

WTF AMY WINEHOUSE?!

2011-07-21T17:29:00.006+08:00

All Or Nothing

An ardent saver, she does not spend her resources carelessly. She accumulates all that she has, and only when she sees something worth her attention, will she invest in it. Seeing growth in her investments is primary while profit is secondary. If she loses any part of her investment, and has to put in more resources, she will, as long as she still has faith in the investment's worth, and still has the capacity to give. She hopes her investments will give her some returns, of course, or at the very least, see the whole thing break even.

But basically, when she sees something worth her time, she goes for broke. She knows, if she loses, she would at least like to see some progress in her few investments, and hopes to improve her economic smarts too. If she loses, its not the end of the world, she can restart the entire process and start saving again. She has faith in the system. Her track record speaks volumes.

2011-07-20T18:28:00.005+08:00

Overload

Theres been a lack of balance of late. Such is the madness of this wintry year. That may be the reason why peace only comes in busying oneself or with wandering places alone. The desire for detachment is undeniable but unrealistic. There is no guarantee that others will offer you their hand so easily when theirs seem so full all the time. So detach yourself from others, and you will see the surge of peace that flows forth. But for now, steady yourself and try and find the balance.

Somebody save me.

2011-07-17T09:05:00.006+08:00

Homed at 8 after fucked up shit. Honestly everyones fucked up, you just gotta learn to suck it up and brace yourself for more shit. Cest la vie. I personally believe everyone should experience a little fucked-uppedness in their lives cos it teaches you to rise above and reach for better situations.

Anw the night started on a great note, with the best welcoming party ever. Everyone screaming your name and running to you to hug you, imagine that. Aww, you guys. And oh my gosh seeing my cutie little Hawaiian pie! The girl I wanted to marry, & asked to, even. Haha. Jetlagged to the max though poor girl.

The night wore on pretty chillax, just lepaked mostly. Snapped many photos and mingled. Watched people let loose. Couch potatoed and people watched and people bitched. Hehe. Around 11, officers knocked on the door due to some pussy neighbour complaining about noise levels - typical. Cant Singaporeans just approach next door neighbours first before calling on the coppers? Seriously.

Then went downstairs for a sendoff and some unexpected good chicken soup for the soul haha. Plus wanted to avoid any more fuzzy action. I realised there are more similarities in people than youre aware of. Speak to someone about the people in your life, let him speak about his and then compare notes with each other, and youll see similar traits in similar characters.

Went up to get out! But got distracted by a tarot reading session. Asked for a reading for fun. Skeptical but some things were undeniably too close to just be a coincidence, though some points were questionable. Favourites: Knight in shining armour card & Queen card depicting future position of authority career-wise.

After that, everything went downhill - from bad to worse to straight up messed up shit. But whatever, got home safe so all is well. Met people, laughed, talked lightheartedly, seriously but mostly, lost sleep lost sleep lost sleep. Backlog of deprivation still in the bag, time to add more hours. Still awake at noon, friggin hell. Havent slept since waking up early sat morn. Thats 24hrs for the bagpack bagpack. Last weekend, this whole week of morning classes & one late night, this weekend. Enough!

I wanna be sedated

2011-07-16T03:33:00.003+08:00

5th Day

4pm-9pm: Guitar hero self-marathon
9pm-1am: Enjoy awesome guest DJs mixes

4pm-1am: 10 per hour

6th Day

10am-130pm: Tuition
130pm-430pm: Lunch with F & he sent me to work. Gave a personal tour, shy intros haha & brought him up to Altitude. The cutest thing "what building is that?" "what is that?" "where is that?"
430pm-930pm: Work. Spectacular view of NDP fireworks from Altitude at 8pm. Awesome i/c.
1030pm-600am: ?

4pm-1am: 10 per hour

2011-07-13T03:33:00.003+08:00

The 4th Day

I feel more welcomed, am more useful, more Malays know I'm one of em & dont ignore me anymore (flawed human nature), getting used to being instantly friendly & enthusiastic towards strangers. Last half hour spent at Altitude alone, bass booming, scenery calming - nothing else matters. But please, no more events on school nights or Ill get home nasty again.

Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters

2011-07-11T03:33:00.002+08:00

The Year of Great Winters

If all is fair in love & war,
Then what will be of wars from love?

2011-07-10T19:10:00.002+08:00

The Princess
&
The Queen

2011-07-09T03:33:00.001+08:00

^.^

2011-07-08T03:15:00.014+08:00

Words Vs. Actions + Emotions

How can Words win against a tag team of two heavyweights? Words are nothing, you can simply say things you dont mean, things you think the other person wants to hear. And even a lack of words can easily be interpreted as A+E making a move. So unfortunately, your actions and emotions will betray you eventually. Unless youre not human. Are you?

After a good Thursday alone, I returned to the world hoping for continued peace, but alas, sound & fury never stops. I stand by how Id gladly live with the consequences of my actions, but it is just unfair when you have to live with the consequences of peoples actions, reactions, inaction. Worse: sometimes they dont seem to notice that youre hurt by all that has happened, & walk around almost entirely unaffected or act like they deserve to throw a bigger rage. Youre made the fool. Convenient, isnt it, that the world only crashes when people are within your reach. Dont blame me for thinking that peace only exists in loneliness. If you want extremes, then you have no choice but to deal with people & how theyll always be both, Your greatest joy, your greatest pain.

2011-07-07T03:03:00.009+08:00

Agent 7711:
Random Jane Strikes Again

Mission: To find friend's currypuff stall in Joo Chiat
Starting point: Joo Chiat Rd/Marshall Lane

Selling bodies - white $120, black only $99. Tsk!

Wad it mean?

Claustrophobic tunnel vision

Two shops overflowing
with commercial kitchen equipment

Random artisan bread bakery
(visit thebreadproject.com.sg)

Stole this from website but
there really was a display of breads in the shop.
Too scared to snap a photo in case owner flipped

STICKY BUN! DELICIOSO!
Ive got a new thing to randomly crave for yikes

Pain au Chocolat.
Pastry is slightly chewy & not dry
like usual Danish/Choc croissants.
Choc not too sweet. Magnifique

Being lost,
Jane asked Breadproject Lady, "what's down the road?"
BP Lady said, "Joo Chiat Complex, Geylang."

And so, finally...

Mission Accomplished!
Rewards from Gandum Bakery :D

What next? To market, to market

Random CNY shops

Old skool kedai biskot with a funny Apek Biskot!
Biskot tol...

Jane snaps photo
Apek Biskot eyes worriedly, discusses with two makcik customers...
Jane notices, says, "Uncle you dont mind right?"
Apek, "you take ready, tadi tak tanya!" frowning
Jane, "can delete, Uncle, if cannot..."
Apek, "oh nvm can la can la, as long tak amek muke wa. Wa tak hensem la"
Laughs heartily
Pause
With a serious face, "lu gahmen ah?"
Jane, "hahaha I so young where can gahmen!"
Makcik customer, "Takpa la pek, itu boleh free publicity!"
Apek laughs heartily
Both happily wave goodbye

Random day of adventure for a lone soul who suddenly lost all her Thursday plans. Ended up walking so much - Dhoby > Somerset > (bus to) Joo Chiat > Geylang Serai. Singaporean tourist. First on the agenda - shopping. After lunch, walked around Plaza Sing, then headed to 313, making mental notes of everything.

Then went on Karipap Mission. Alighted at the wrong stop so decided to wander around Joo Chiat Rd anyways. Empty sidewalks but relatively busy roads. Found myself in an unexpected Viet/Indochina part of Joo Chiat, where their pubs, coffeeshops and restaurants were plentiful.

Then stumbled upon a quaint little artisan bread bakery smack in the middle of dodgy pubs and old shops - "artisan bread" their words, not mine. Delicious new sweet love. The lady was of tremendous help in getting me back to civili... okay well maybe she just helped me get back on track. Lets be honest, civilisation? Well maybe to some people I guess.

Found the shop, and its near Geylang Serai, really. Had a good mini chat with my random friend's mother and decided to make my way home. But saw the market/hawker centre and since I have never been there, had a walk around, snapping pictures all tourist-like and scaring some funny apek. Apek, apek...

I honestly stay away from Gaylang, just because crazy crowds scare me. Especially during festive months. Well, I guess now Ive at least seen more of it. Would have made my mission much simpler if I knew Gaylang better but hey, wouldnt have had an adventure to myself if I did.

2011-07-06T12:57:00.004+08:00

juin: Halfa Year Already!?

June started out promising, with a mid-month sudden dip, and then a return of things to normal. A marriage, and a few people falling in love, it was a pretty beautiful sight to see so many happy, blushing faces.

Then I was down for around two weeks or so, going krazy in public and MIA-ing. Haha people probably hated me for a bit, but I was too busy dealing with life's fucked-upness to care much about anybody else. Lets just say it was a glimpse into how things would be if I was consistently a selfish sonofabitch. And honestly, I dont feel bad in saying, when you grow up, youll see that dealing with your life would matter much more than satisfying the whims of all these other people. Sticks and stones, aye.

But that part of my life is more or less solved. I have come to terms with how some things are unchangeable, and so, as always the control freak would rather take matters into her own hands rather than let life disappoint her again. When youre disappointed so often so young, you just learn to harden your heart more and depend on someone more reliable - yourself. Haha, theres always a reason to your idiosyncrasies, init.

Fortunately, after the disappointments, got to free my mind at a short getaway. And I am thankful for the people who bothered to listen to my shit. Though Ill be fair, I only did tell three people haha, and thankfully they were awesome enough to help me through. Love you people luh!

So now that July is in gear, my schedule shall be bursting at the seams. I exaggerate. Ill just be busier than normal, dealing with school and all my other gigs. Thankfully, only one sch morning will be affected but of cos I wont be so irresponsible. New module seems to be interesting: politics and history! Hopefully the lecturer wont be such a drag, or worse, a pain.

Looking forward to Nisa's 22nd, 2nd Anni, WAS, and classes haha! July will be the last round of fuckyeahs before a month of peace. And then can fuckyeah again haha. Half a year over, almost the end of the world, hey ho!

2011-07-05T03:33:00.000+08:00

Day 'n' Nite

"Filipina?"

2011-07-04T03:33:00.000+08:00

First Day: Nothing but a view from four to seven and then, laughing at the funny antics of tipsy white guys. That is all.

2011-07-03T03:33:00.000+08:00

Peace hardly comes but happiness is more reliable, though it might not choose to stay for very long. It comes and goes in little moments - a laugh, a thought, a smile. In passing - a minute, an hour, a day. But sometimes, if you are lucky, it chooses to stay longer, uninterrupted by life's complications. One thing for certain, everyone should bask in the beauty of happiness and appreciate every moment of it, cos you never know when it'll grace us with its presence next.

2011-06-30T18:56:00.004+08:00

Peace, peace

John Mayer - Say
Muse - In Your World
Alicia Keys - Un-thinkable (I'm Ready)
Glee - Merry Christmas Darling
Cheryl Cole - Fight For This Love
Damien Rice - Grey Room
Death Cab For Cutie - Brothers on a Hotel Bed
Downface - Alone
Keane - Your Eyes Open
Damien Rice - Accidental Babies
Aqualung - Fingertip
We Are Scientists - Sie Hat Was Vermisst
Muse - Feeling Good

Such a peaceful day. Homed after 4, slept at 6 in the morning, awoke fresh at 2pm. Made someone's day, or maybe two peoples' by a simple 5min phone call. Scarlett's shuffle was mostly happy or mellow songs as though she could feel the mood too. And beautiful, beautiful weather. Ahh, life is good. Praises be.

2011-06-29T12:53:00.004+08:00

Who the hell is Neon Trees?

Ohhhh, that song. Why cant We Are Scientists play their own show? All the years Ive waited for them to come, until they made sucky Brain Thrust Mastery, and made me reconsider their place on my List of Must Watch Concerts. But hmm Neon Trees? Okay only la. 90bucks for them two. But what if WAS only plays their new songs from Barbara, that will totally suck ass.

Somethings holding me back, maybe Neon Trees? Haha. Reminds me of Vampire Weekend. Skipped it which made me sad later cos they played Walcott!!! Walcott!!! Sigh.

On a side note, Cranberries coming on 31st July! THE LEGENDARY! Hahaha. Aww too bad I'm broke.

Missed: Franz Ferdinand (hopefully will come back someday soon), The Cure, Eric Clapton, Iron Maiden, Vampire Weekend, No Doubt, Alicia Keys, Jet, Slash, Travis, Avenged Sevenfold (scared of crowd haha) and I guess some others. Oh well, when youre not rich, you gotta pick your concerts right? At least Ive never missed Muse.

-

Reasons to WAS: