Between fight & flight

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Case Study 1

She does her best not to depend on others, as she feels that expectations always lead to disappointments, whenever people are included in the equation. But when she does depend on people, she tries to be patient with them, and tries to keep expectations at a minimum. But when minimum expectations are not met, she feels devastated by an even bigger amount of disappointment.

She does, however, have a tendency to throw her whole being into relationships when she starts depending on people, in other words, despite the high possibility of being disappointed again, and repeatedly, she doesn't seem to stop fighting to keep those people. That is probably due to how she only truly opens up to few, and very few can claim to know her beyond the surface, so she might cling to those people as long as she can.

She is also, thereby, easily depressed, when she opens up to those few people, and feels like her actions or emotions are rejected, whether intentionally or otherwise. She is, thus, always tempted to revert to a life of loneliness, but is unable to as she now feels undeniably tied to those people.

In general, she prefers to be alone, and does not share her reality with others, as she feels that everyone has their own reality to deal with, and that nobody needs an extra one as a burden (she is always quick to feel like a burden, and abhors the feeling). But she does not turn others away, as she feels that everyone has a right to share their stories, if they choose to - she simply does not choose to. However, she tends to stay distant when it comes to others, and does not see the need to sympathise with their stories, if she is unable or unwilling to help them, so she might be construed as a selfish person. In essence, she is most secure and at peace when she is alone.

10:55 AM