Between fight & flight

Tuesday, February 09, 2010

"My sister once said that someday well all find our place in the world, well do what were supposed to. Itll come sooner or later, the sooner the better of cos, but eventually everyone will find their place in life."

Its still a wonder how m still lost, it prolli as frustrating to others as it is to me, the others prolli thinking why m such an indecisive useless goodfornaught & when m gonna get a move on. When I talk to people about it, some have said why dont you be a tutor for life since youre happy doing it? I say cos it isnt enough & Ill think it makes me happy yes, but theres gotta be more to life right? I dont wanna be a teacher, not my dream/not the path Ive ever wanted to take. Tutoring & teaching are really not one in the same. You have no one to answer to save the parents & its a personalised service when you tutor. Teaching is a whole other ball game m not very interested in playing.

& if they dont suggest tutoring, theyll say kau kahwin sudah! Haha, which I hope theyre saying in jest. But if I do get married, it must be with a rich ass mofo. You see, I need my millionaire man cos even if I settled down, I would want to use his money to do whatever I wished, open a cafe/restaurant, publish a book, travel the world, (marry someone I actually loved hahaha) etc etc. See I still have some dreams, its just that they have nothing to do with an honest living here in good ol SG. Like I said, if its not about money, it wont work out here. If m not being practical, Id study philosophy or sociology or psychology just for kicks. But over here, you cant throw away 40K just because. Plus I dont have all those Ks to squander. Damn does formal education seem so easy right now. Man I hope Billy is right, cos being so lost isnt very fun anymore. Billyyy!

I wanna be that guy
That gets the girl & saves the world
That's got it made, gets overpaid
Then everyone would wanna
be like me,
be like me

10:09 AM

Monday, February 08, 2010

Its been a while since Ive laughed so hard, it used to be an everyday thing, well kinda. After school ended, you see less of people and you get to laugh at them less. Well, not including the laughs churned from the idiot brothers. But the past week, meeting the poly people after the longest while, then Dunman - which means Raushan the Riot, then Sat seliting Billys homeboys birthday & meeting his fucking funny pals, man I wondered whether Id have time to catch my breath even. & yeah its been a while since Ive laughed so hard I teared, & wondered if its possible to die laughing. That would be pretty fun wouldnt it, to die cos you laughed too much too hard? Haha fuggg.

This just in:
Woman dies while laughing,
friends to be blamed

10:09 AM

Sunday, February 07, 2010

The Arrivals:
The Common Ground

"Racism consists of stressing a difference between individuals or populations. The difference can be real or imagined & in itself doesn't entail racism (or, by analogy, sexism). It is not difference itself that leads to subordination, but the interpretation of difference. It is the assigning of a value to a particular difference in a way that discredits an individual or group to the advantage of another that transforms mere difference into deficiency."

Truth, beauty, freedom, love

10:00 AM

Saturday, February 06, 2010

The first tragic thought I had on Wed night was, fuck, back to nothingness, to real life now, fuck fuck fuck. Like the first Muse concert back in 2007, like Coldplay last year, m certain were all still dealing with the fact that BNO, that Muse, ended on Wed night. Its like dealing with withdrawal symptoms, only worse cos you keep getting reminded of that mind blowing earth quaking body burning night cos hot damn your iPod has all their fucking songs. Oh no no, even if theyre not in your player, the songs are in your head damnit. Not that the flashbacks are bad. But its amusing how your happy feet start doing weird things under the table when youre trying to do sth as mundane as tutor some minor. Some minor who probably has been misled to worship Jo Bros/ Miley-fuckin-Cyrus to be able to fist air punch & sing along

They will not force us
They will stop degrading us
They will not control us
We will be victorrrious

:(

8:40 AM

Friday, February 05, 2010

Oh, Sophia, Sophia :)

Men in black

Mr Pimp takes his seat

Sofias the first to go in the group. A nice little surprise party at the Gardens by her lovely girlfriends, with us seliting. Hafiz mustve had a ball being surrounded by a bevy of beauties hahaha. I cant believe we were all loserific 12 year olds once. Were 21 this year, bitches. Yikes! Aww arent we so awesome, us Griffiths kids still hanging out. To many more years! Cheers!

11:22 AM

Thursday, February 04, 2010

Muse's Night Out

Random mix, queing together
before everything happened!

MUSE WAS FUCKIN AWESOME. Not just awesome, no, they were FUCKIN AWESOME. Went wild especially for Hysteria, Time is Running Out, Plug in Baby, Sunburn, Starlight, MK Ultra, United States of Eurasia. The crowd was fuckin awesome please. Clearly most of us were there for Muse. They even played Exogenesis Symphony. I love it when a band plays the piano. But most random must be Nishe. One of the best parts was when they just jammed away after a song was done, I think I fell in love with the 40 year old bassist haha. Ugly old bugger but damn the bass sounded good. I still havent gotten my Unintended yet, so if I do anything before I die, Id have to hear Unintended live by them. Someday, bitches, someday.

Rise Against was good too. I enjoyed them thoroughly. Pity the crowd got a little stale after a while. Well, what to do, not many have heard of them. I only checked it out in preparation for BNO, & after insistence from Billy that theyre pretty good. & yeah they sounded good on Youtube, even better live. Straight edge marfarkers, you gotta give respect. I wouldnt mind going to their own concert but the crowd would probably be scary hardcore kids. Scary hardcore kids shudders. But even then, the fans had a proper mosh pit by themselves, they didnt spoil my concert experience nope.

So yeah, even if RA fans are scary, they still deserve more respect than those marfarkers who call themselves Saosin fans. Ive always had a personal bias against Saosin but not so bad till I had to deal with the fucking fans. Bloody fuckers should fucking burn in hell those fucking As. Fuck you la, Saosin is just some emo band, what the fuck is up with yall moshing so hard. The band even said "I wanna see a wall here, cmon split down here." Wtf Wall of Death is it. Eh fuck la. Worst is they kept pushing the crowd, so desperate to get to the front is it. Was fucking suffocating being somewhere in the front, trying to block and protect myself from them marfarkers. Thought I was gonna die seriously. & Saosin was opening act please! I really felt like just giving up & going to the sides & waiting it out till Muse came around. & after Saosin was done, those ma-der-fuck-kers left. Thank god okay. Fuck you assholes who totally destroyed the first part of BNO for us all. Fuck you very much.

Cos of those fucking people, I really just couldnt stand it & slowly moved to the back myself. So much better at the back please. Ended up travelling around alone haha. Damn fun ah moving around. Making new friends all, I met two girls who were fellow anti moshers & they helped me survive Saosin. Then it got better when RA played phew. Then when it was Muse I was somewhere else again, but who cares, I was there for the music, & fellow Muse fans were damn happening ah, so just sang screamed danced jumped around together. I even had a moment with this cute guy haha. We just turned to each other & smiled so widely, all happy with ze awesome Muse. See, Muse is love & makes love happen hahaha. Youre still the one Billy! Hahaha.

& I realise the best part of the crowd to be at is somewhere in the back. If you wanna be in front, you gotta be at the barricades itself, but then thatll mean you wont really be IN the crowd, but at least you get best seats right? The middle part is the worst cos thats where they mosh & where the crowd is psycho, you wont enjoy yourself at all what with trying to protect yourself, finding room to just breathe, youll be too busy hoping you wont die to enjoy the concert. But at the back, the crowd is good, everyones just enjoying the music together, you have room to breathe & some personal space even & you still get to see the band.

So yeah, whatever happens, never be in the middle. Especially when Saosin plays. I even had a moment at the start when the concert hadnt even started & the crowd was already pushing, m sure its those assholes trying to force themselves to the front. I just started screaming eh fuck you fuckers la, concert havent start right stupid! Haha angry kid ah. Please ah, nobody wants to die before the concert even starts right. I did not pay 161 to die before Muse plays kay thanks.

M not totally put off getting free standing tickets for concerts, just gotta learn survival skills I guess. Or just try your best to avoid concerts which Saosin has a slot too. There were a lot of amusing moments, by the crowd themselves and everything else. The people were damn funny ah, having outbursts when people sat on shoulders & blocked the view "I will remember that face!" haha, stealing peoples shoes when people bodysurfed. I swear you would laugh too when after a set was done, people started screaming "has anyone seen a red shoe?" & that means just one side haha. & then when they were passing the cups of water around, people just had a sip & passed it on. We really didnt care that it seemed disgusting, we were all dying for a drink please. Some people even managed to light up in the crowd geez.

So yeah, Muse was awesome as per usual. Went home drenched, smelly, aching, legs like jelly, throat tired, ears ringing. Was drenched at the start already though, cos the crowd up front was so packed & so psycho I think I bulked up quite a bit trying to push people away, protecting myself. Can you imagine, me, a 155 cm short girl fighting against a crowd of adrenaline filled tall buff guys? Wah thank god I survived please. But Muse made it all okay when they came on. They just made all the shit melt away. Yay Muse, Ill always love yall okay (:

Cause I want it now
I want it now
Give me your heart & your soul

11:39 AM

Wednesday, February 03, 2010

Tonight
we can truly say
together were invincible!

Viva la Resistance, bitches.

9:46 AM